Archer and the 'clone'
by Shadowed Chaos
Summary: General Frank Archer is in a for a shock and his FEMALE twin from an AU world drops in. PWP, AUish stuff, Genderbending, read at your own risk stuff.


Ummm…. Random screwing with stuff and crack induced fic. Mu archer muse hates me now. XD

Disclaimer: I don't own FMA, or this would actually happen.

Gen. Frank Archer was not a man that like surprises. So, when one _female_ version of himself literally fell onto his lap, he was rather very surprised.

"I am going to kill Crimson. he said that noth ... " the female Archer trailed off, looking wide eyed and not at all composed. She took in the man before her; same eyes, almost same hair length, nearly the same face shape and the look of shock mirrored her own. It was a male, General ranked version of her self.

"W-who are you?" Frank did not stutter. He was perfectly in control of this. Even if he wasn't, he had to make it look like he was. He had to act like this happened every other day. That this was not as shocking as finding out that Mustang loved him - Oh, he wasn't fooling himself though, this was FAR more shocking,

"Lt Col Francine Archer." Francine reported with a salute, schooling her face into a mask of emotionlessness. " And you, Sir?"

"General Frank Archer." Frank said, not really believing his eyes. He shifted in his chair to adjust his uniform.

"Archer?" the woman blinked her eyes, not believing what she heard. "You lie. My mother and father only had one child, _**ME**_!" 

"I'm perfectly aware that my parents had only one child, and I'm quite sure that it was not a girl." He half glared, and started to push the woman up, trying to put a little distance between them.

Francine glared and then snorted and pushed away from the man - her double. "Mother would never name a boy such a common name as _Frank_." she looked at him in disgust now. "Where is Crimson, he would back me up in a heartbeat."

"He's on a mission towards the West with Colonel Roy Mustang." He said, and lent back in his chair.

Her face twisted into one of anger and disbelief. "You LIE! Crimson would _Never_ accept a mission with skirt-chasing, coffee drinking pyromaniac Mustang. "

"Not unless he was gun ordered to do it, and threatened to be thrown back in prison if he refused." His eyes narrowed, as he matched the woman's expression. "Try not to speak ill of Mustang here."

"I'll speak of the man however I see fit." her face was twisted with hate. She loathed Mustang, deeply, he was far too smug and arrogant and high up on the ranks for her tastes. "And Crimson would rather kill Mustang than work with him. "

"Yes, I know full well of that." He had to keep the Crimson Alchemist from doing just that. "Now would you mind moving from my lap, and sit down in the chair across from me. Someone could walk in, and get the wrong idea."

Francine smirked at the last bit. "The wrong Idea... Is the General worried for his rank." she cooed, sickly sweet with a false smile.

"Yes, wouldn't want rumours to start around the building. You know how easy those word spreads." He replied smoothly, even if he did feel the woman too close for comfort.

"Oh... is that all. Is the male clone thing scared to be demoted?" she was having fun being a callous bitch to him. Here was her one chance to snark off at herself and not worry about seeming even more sociopathic than she was. "But with the way you said ' don't speak ill of Mustang'... I would think that you are hiding something, hmm... _clone_?" she refused to call him by name.

"Clone? I am not a clone. I am not one of Tucker's lab experiments." He hissed, and started to push her back. "And why would I need to explain myself to you?" Frank glared even if it is half-hearted. He was starting to fear the female version.

She frowned, but then shrugged it off. Why let the mans' words get to her. "I'm sure that I could talk my way to the Fuhrer and tell him that you are committing fraternization." she had no proof, but she didn't need it, she was good with lies. She had to be, to keep hers and her pet alchemists' relationship hidden.

"Oh? And what would you tell him? He's currently on vacation in the South." He started to recover his tracks, and lent back away from the woman. "You're not even supposed to be here without an escort, and if you try to claim your last name as Archer… you'll be laughed out of here."

Francine was stumped. But she didn't let it show. She didn't want to give the male version of her the upper hand. She could swear that he was smirking in his eyes at her, like he was so full of himself. But she knew one thing, all males where more or less ruled by the dicks. So, with a sly smirk, she reached down, and being the complete cock-tease that she was, rubbed him just enough to arouse slightly. Then she pulled her hands back and moved to sit on his desk.

Frank's eyes widened at the slightest touch to his groin, and bit his tongue. He moved back in his chair once Francine let up, and moved onto his desk. For once he was rendered speechless.

"Oh? did you like that, General?" she purred, leaning forward slightly to look at him. This was fun, it was almost like playing tease Crimson at the office.

The male version just looked to the side avoiding the question. He shifted again uneasy, and didn't like the sneers, and looks from the woman in front of him. Those looks spelt disaster for him, but yes he was enjoying those teasing touches. "Almost too well.." he managed under his breath.

"Oh... would you like me to fix it, mmm?" she purred, leaning forward, her fingers playing over his chest, moving down towards his crotch.

Frank groaned, and arched up into the hands. His other head was leading the way now, doing his thinking. He shivered, and closed his eyes, his mind drifting elsewhere to ignore the female version. He shouldn't be thinking these things, should remain loyal to the object of his eye. It is hard to do when you have someone teasing your senses, and pulling the right strings.

Francine purred and started to work the others pants open. While she was doing that, she slipped down onto her knees - a position that he was not that comfortable with. Normally it was Crimson on his knees. But just this once, she would allow herself to kneel. As the zipper came down, her fingers danced over the others cock softly, teasingly. She wanted to hear his moans.

Gripping the ends of the armchair he swallowed down a moan, and shifted under those hands stroking him. He moved back to find himself more trapped between the chair, and the hands slowly working him up.

"Mmmm... yess... that is right.. Moan for me." she purred, stroking him harder and faster, her breath brushing the tip of his head.

Frank lets the faintest moan escape his lips, and shivers against the breath. He bites his tongue again to keep it back, and it comes out rather strangled. Francine smirked and then started to take him into her mouth with a slow, agonizing speed. She licked and sucked, toying with just the head.

"Such a tease." He said under his breath, and bucked up into her mouth. He restrained most of the movement, and bit his lower lip at the sucking. Frank did let out another faint moan at the teasing licks. The woman purred and then took just the head in her mouth, while she sucked; she kept stroking him, teasing and hard.

Frank moaned out as he bucked up again, and his hands went from the chair to the other's head. He ran his hands through Francine's hair, as he started to writhe under her touch.

"More.." He half ordered, and before his mind registered what he had just demanded he already had mentally kicked himself for it. Francine purred and complied, moving harder, sucking and licking and bobbing. She wanted him as well. More correctly, she wanted him to be moaning and cumming.

The blue eyed man shuddered again, and moaned loudly. He kept most of the volume of his voice from carrying out to the hallways. He continuously bucked up into Francine's mouth, and tries to keep from sounding too needy. The woman just purred, and took more of the man. She licked at the underside and took him to the depths of her throat again and again, a silent demand for the man to cum. she wanted it now. she wanted to here his moan of release

Frank moans again, and bucks up obeying the unsaid demand and releases his essence into her mouth. His moan of release rather needy, and want filled. The female version of Frank moaned, drinking it down with a dark purr. He tasted rather sweet, unlike Crimsons acidy taste. But still, it was a delightful treat.

"Mmm…. That was nice." she licked her lips, coming up and looking at the military man. "Did you enjoy, clone of me?"

"Almost too much..." Frank said as he locked his gaze with his female half, and sat back up readjusting his clothes.

"I am glad." she purred and then straddled his lap. "I am very glad." She lent in and kissed him, deeply, just as she started to fade off, drawn back into her own world.

Frank kissed her back for the last few minutes, and started to wonder about what had just happened.

She smirked and then she was gone, leaving Archer alone in his office, the only sign that she had been there, was the slightly ruffled look to the General and the displaced papers on his desk.

"Well... That was a rather.. Nice surprise. Unexpected, but nice. "

Owari

I hope that you liked.

All comments are welcome and help make me a better writer. Flames will be feed to the Franci-bitch.


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